The Hidden Implications of PB&J
by Osa P
Summary: Kaiba contemplates his relationship with Isono over a plate of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.


He could feel his control slipping as he ungracefully shoved another sandwich into his mouth. He felt absolutely ridiculous sitting at his office desk, devouring sandwich after sandwich in lieu of reading the reports from the research and development department. He knew he looked as ridiculous as he felt - a nearly grown man in a sharply pressed white suit, eating the food of a child. The most powerful man in Domino, looking more like a snot-nosed grade-schooler taking a snack break.

He snorted as he quickly took another bite. That's what Isono had called it, though he had attempted to use more elegant language in order to convince his boss to partake. And as much as it shamed Kaiba Seto, he had indeed succumbed to the allure of an afternoon snack. It was the latest in a series of behavioral slip-ups that he'd fallen victim to.

First it was the handshake that grew into an awkward parody of a hug. Then it was the expertly penned note attached to his briefcase that mimicked the sort of encouragement that a parent would give their spawn on a busy day at school. And now, dinosaur shaped peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Kaiba wasn't sure what was more of a blow to his hard-earned image as a mature human being; the sandwich fillings or their likeness to long dead prehistoric creatures. Or maybe it was the lack of crust, he thought to himself as he finished another sandwich, bringing his fingers to his lips to rid them of any residue.

He paused, quite suddenly, thumb still in his mouth, as he realized exactly what he was doing. Yet another offense on a list that was quickly growing too long. He was not the type to lavish anything with his tongue (barring when he would give his subordinates a vicious, but figurative, tongue-lashing) and peanut butter and jelly shouldn't have been an exception. And yet, here he was, idly sucking leftover remnants of sweet sandwich filling from each digit on his left hand.

Kaiba contemplated sighing, but restrained himself as it would do nothing but add to his current state of disarray. This was purely a matter of self-control, of which he was the self-proclaimed master. Certainly he could stand up from his unreasonably expensive office chair, cross the short distance between his desk and his small, functional en suite bathroom, and properly cleanse his hands (and hopefully his mind) of the mistakes of the afternoon. Then he could finally settle down and get back to work.

Yes, it was an excellent plan indeed, and would allow him a momentary reprieve from the stress of owning a company while being entirely acceptable of a person in his position. Splashing water on one's face was mature; gorging oneself on treats was not. Kaiba was still musing over the appropriateness of his choice as he made his way back to his desk, hands freshly washed and mind certainly just as much so.

Finally he could return to reading up on Kaiba Corp's latest Duel Monsters related product. He could prove to himself, yet again, that he was a driven, respectable, and capable adult. Except... suddenly he wasn't so interested in the specs for a series of Duel Monsters themed children's bicycles. He could feel his concentration faltering. For every word he advanced, his eyes would drift to the window or the expanse of his office or back to those godforsaken sandwiches. He really didn't feel particularly interested in anything at the moment. Well, other than the physics involved in keeping peanut butter attached to jelly, and both attached to their respective bread slices. It was a result of friction, he was certain, but perhaps a certain level of chemistry was involved as both peanut and fruit were prone to mixing at their meeting point.

A few minutes ticked by as Kaiba continued to contemplate sandwich physics, leaving his actual responsibilities to lie idle and unfinished. He leaned back in his chair, hands sliding away from his keyboard and coming to rest at the edge of his desk. He was beginning to believe that he had a problem and that it somehow stemmed from his bodyguard.

He seemed to be fixating on Isono's recent actions, which distracted him from his work, thus becoming a problem that needed to be quickly addressed. But, Isono had never been anything but reliable during his tenure under the Kaiba family, so there appeared to be little reason for his actions to disrupt Kaiba's focus so severely. 'Perhaps', Kaiba thought to himself, 'Perhaps Isono is being too reliable.' How on earth could someone be too reliable? If anything he felt that his subordinates were constantly falling short of his expectations, so taking issue with Isono over his capability as an employee seemed ridiculous.

Perhaps Isono had become reliable to a fault. Perhaps he had crossed the line between dedicated employee and... And what? Kaiba blinked several times as though manually clearing the confusion from his mind. If Isono was no longer just fulfilling the role of an employee, then what could he have possible morphed into? His brow furrowed as he ran through the possible titles he could assign to Isono outside of bodyguard or worker.

The possibility that Isono could be his 'friend' occurred rather low on the list, coming after 'subordinate', 'right-hand man', and 'babysitter' (which was in reference to Mokuba, of course). But once Kaiba had touched on 'friend' as a potential label his thoughts latched on and wouldn't let it go. He was quite familiar with how other people developed relationships and he understood the significance of calling someone friend. He knew that accepting someone as a friend meant the exchange of a non-verbal contract of ultimate trust. It was a relationship meant to benefit both persons throughout its duration; it was mutually parasitic.

Kaiba could safely say he didn't have a single friend in the world and he was glad for it. To compromise his own interest and safety for the mediocre offerings that another person, likely his age, could give was absolutely unacceptable. He was better off sticking by the one person he could trust ultimately and who expected only his time and affection in return. Yes, brotherhood was a safe and endlessly beneficial relationship and so much unlike friendship.

But if friendship was what Isono was after then Kaiba would have to tread carefully. He needed to know immediately what it was that Isono desired enough to jeopardize his own privacy and well-being and what exactly it was that he expected to give in return. It was no surprise to Kaiba now why he'd fixated so strongly on Isono's actions. They were peculiar, yes, but they were also klaxons foreshadowing a change in the status of their relationship.

This was a very serious matter indeed, and an acceptable distraction from work. Nevertheless, he righted himself in his seat and scooted closer to his desk, re-positioning himself in front of his computer. He glanced over the report he'd been sent, scrolling quickly to the end of the document to judge its length and his current progress. After determining that he could indeed take a bit more time away from the work day, he minimized all open documents and turned his attention to the other end of his desk. Kaiba then leaned forward, sliding his hands towards the offensive plate of dinosaur snacks and brought them to rest on his lap.

He was still quite miffed by their existence, but it was scientifically proven that good nutrition lead to good brain function, and he wasn't one to argue with science...

* * *

Isono rode up the elevator with Mokuba, escorting him out of his own paranoia rather than any sort of adherence to his job description. He'd seen the boy snatched from far more isolated areas and he refused to take any chances. Mokuba, backpack slung over his shoulder, quietly rocked back and forth on his heels, his impatience growing with each floor they passed. He was quite obviously eager to see his brother and to finally engage in material that was befitting of his intelligence. Even he understood that his enrollment in school was more for socialization than it was for learning.

The elevator dinged as it reached the top floor of the Kaiba Corp building. The moment the doors slid open, Mokuba was gone, half-jogging down the hall towards the large, hand carved oak doors of his brother's office. He flew past their shared secretary, barely flashing her a smile, and was pushing the doors open before she could admonish him for disturbing her boss.

Isono followed behind Mokuba at a markedly slower pace, giving the secretary a look, the meaning obvious even behind his dark shades. She'd been too cocky as of late - high on her own perceived self-importance - and was choosing to take it out on Mokuba-sama. She'd so far hidden it from her employer's gaze, but she was foolish to think that she wasn't being watched by someone. He'd be sure to speak with Seto-sama that evening on the issue of hiring a replacement for the idiotic woman.

Upon entering Seto-sama's office, Isono was met with the sight of Mokuba, dinosaur shaped sandwich quickly disappearing into his mouth, and Kaiba, who appeared to be trying rather conspicuously to clean his face and hands. Isono couldn't help but smile as he crossed the office, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket as he did so. He made his way around Mokuba and to the side of his employer's desk. Kaiba only had a moment to glance at his bodyguard before he felt the roughness of Isono's cotton handkerchief against his face.

It took Kaiba's usually impeccably sharp mind quite a bit of time to fully process exactly what was happening. It wasn't until he heard Mokuba's laughter that he realized exactly what Isono was doing. He was having his face cleaned by his bodyguard. He looked at Isono with a mixture of incredulity and outrage. Out of all the things that Kaiba Seto was or could be, he was most definitely not a child and he would not tolerate being treated like one.

Noticing the glare showing unbidden on his employer's face, Isono quickly ceased his ministrations and removed his handkerchief, grinning sheepishly all the way. Before Seto-sama could utter a word, however, Isono had turned his attention to the young Kaiba who was looking quite a bit worse-for-wear by the way of peanut butter and jelly.

As Kaiba, glare still firmly affixed to his visage, watched Isono clean his brother's face, he realized exactly what sort of line his bodyguard had crossed.

And Kaiba Seto, teenage genius, had been so very wrong.


End file.
